The Corona crisis hit me like heavy whip lashes on the back. However, not triggering pleasure and lust. Nevertheless, the healing process is still comparable: the red lash marks turn blue the next day and yellow the following days. My own world of thoughts appears now also in a slightly different color scheme.
The precaution measures taken by our governments have forced me to be at home 24/7 from one day to the other for 40 days now. I’ve never been in Graz at a time for so long. I have never had such a long period without meeting my friends and family, without driving a car, and probably due to my job for the past 15 years without getting on a plane. The pandemic forces me into abstinence. Not only from events like Easter in Berlin, pride parades or numerous fetish events that I added to my calendar. It claims also and a lot more renunciation of my basic social need for sociability, friendship and affection.
With the passing of Daniel Dumont, Rob Scheers and Garry Bowie, to name a few personalities from our leather and fetish scene, the mere numbers of infections suddenly got faces, friends became victims of the virus. And with advanced times in this crisis, people on the street encounter each other with suspicion, some almost with paranoia. Discussions and judgments are currently evolving quickly, plenty and fiercely. Be it the negligence of individuals, an event that was not canceled at the beginning of the crisis, proponents of the measures, opponents of the measures, the government itself … Occasionally I catch myself tempted to disapprove others in public space because of their behavior. The only reasonable middle ground is to support each other. We are all equally responsible for protecting public health. It’s better we all join in, it works, and eventually we may say that all the agitation was possibly exaggerated. It is overwhelming to see how individual calls for help within our community are currently being heard and answered, there is hope. Does it, however, need a pandemic first to remind us of supporting each other?
Each of us deals with the current situation in a different way, which is most obvious on social media. While some are posting selfies with their face masks, a Polish gay couple is handing out rainbow-colored masks on the street. Not just to protect against the corona virus, but to fight the rampant homophobia in their country. Some titleholders celebrate themselves for an additional title year due to the lack of new elections, while others sell part of their leather and fetish gear to raise funds #BuyMyGear-FightCOVID-19 for the Leather Heart Foundation, which support members of our community, who have had financial difficulties due to the virus. Unfortunately, due to the surplus, many actions and meetings in the virtual space remain unheard and unseen. I am always happy about postings that show many of you in your fetish clothes at home #gearstayson, me included as I enjoy remote working from time to time in full leather and with boots. It feels good to receive many messages from friends, acquaintances and customers about my own well-being.
Many speak of the crisis as an opportunity. On a personal level, I must admit that I have neither learned a new language nor found spiritual enlightenment nor started part-time academical studies. I enjoy not having to battle mercilessly against time. While staying at home, however, I must deal with myself, with my fears, feelings and expectations – whether I want or not. I deliberately get a feeling for how my “normal” life has been so far: faster, higher, stronger, more… Inevitably, the question arises what I really need and what I can give up. The current crisis is indeed the ideal time to appreciate and like what we have instead of what we don’t have. Although I’m certainly not the only one who misses a lot of things at the moment, I value the advantages of this exceptional time.
I am full of energy and have certainly experienced spring 2020 with all my senses as intensely as never before. “If you feel the need to go out into the fresh air, then do it,” said our chancellor during a press conference. Every day I do jogging and walking. In the beginning I jogged to run away from the question of coping with the situation. Meanwhile, I enjoy the feeling of well-being and the endorphin high when jogging, which is very similar to that of a good BDSM session. While walking, I notice the blooming of the flowers and leaves, the natural scents, the increasing warmth of the sun. Sometimes it doesn’t take much to be happy. I also try many new cooking and baking recipes, have more pots of fresh herbs in the kitchen than ever, and I realize that I shouldn’t call these things pastimes, but “enjoytimes”.
In our rush to get back to normal, we should use the current time to consider which parts of normality are worth returning to. Should it be normal again? May everyone answer this question for yourself. Stand up, straighten your crown, carry on – it won’t be like this. We will not continue from where we left. But we will appreciate get-together, hugs and handshakes again. We will become aware of all we’ve taken for granted. You may question one or the other commercial fetish business model and community marketing logic. What fetish events do you want to be part of, why and what do you actually expect from them? We have now learned to deal with distance. Does it make sense to carry on keeping some distance in certain ways? Are you just a playground for certain people and isn’t your reality too valuable for that? Couldn’t it be exciting to be interested in life outside of our own bubble? It is desirable that our current thoughts and plans do not vanish too quickly but outlast the return to the “new normal”. I close my encouragement for ideas with the words of the Danish nuclear physicist Niels Bohr: “We are both spectators and actors in the great drama of existence.”
I agree with you at almost everything, very no-good.
corrections “very good”