Why are many of us afraid of not meeting the so-called standards of our society? Who does define those standards at all and where do prejudices and taboos come from, which we don’t want to break/shall not break? May it lead to a possible exclusion from the social community, to which we belong, if we confront with avoided subjects?
There are prejudices and taboos based on our mental activity, influenced by our education and our social background. Most often it is the unknown or rather different that triggers discomfort and is thus avoided. When confrontation has to give way to repression, subconsciously social exclusion and refusal is resulting. In this context, I am very grateful for the possibility to talk and write about homosexuality and fetishism in media. Everyone interested in our lifestyle is a step closer to overcome prejudices and to be understanding. How much is told is, however, a tightrope walk. Spreading awareness for fetishism and BDSM is necessary and to answer related questions elementary. Beyond that, those preferences have to remain their appeal and intimacy for our community.
It is necessary to break limits in order not to bow to prevalent preconceptions – in fact the limits in our own heads. What do people think of me, when I walk the streets in full leather gear? Can I withstand the views? I fully understand those barriers because for ourselves leather and fetish have a very strong sexual reference! Our fellow human beings seeing us all geared in the streets do not have this association in such a direct way. 
The more unknown and different the view, the more avoidance, denial and also fear. More enlightened and open people feel much less uneasiness. Again another tightrope walk: how much do I want to reveal myself and my fetish in public. For many, especially young fetishists who are in need of a shelter, it is much more comfortable to change on-site when going out. This possibility is offered everywhere and accepted willingly.
Many times, an open approach with fetish may be understood as deliberate provocation. During an Easter weekend in Berlin, two men in their car shouted at me and called me “faggot” and “bugger”. Only few, who are harassed and insulted, can cope with that situation. I passed them upright as well as unconcerned. Nevertheless, the encounter had upset me inside, because rejection hurts. In aggressive situations, I advise against getting involved in hostility and offering a target. On the other hand, two older women approached us during a Fetish tram ride along Vienna’s Ringstrasse and wanted to know more about us. Such opportunities are to be used to illuminate and counteract a lack of understanding in a positive way. They took a selfie with Mr. Leather Italy and me in memory of our encounter.
Nevertheless – or in fact precisely for that reason – my call on the fetish community is to go out more in full gear, to present yourself proudly and to socialize with like-minded people. What is the hottest fetish gear good for at home in the wardrobe, when the guy wears jeans, chucks and t-shirt to go out? On photos in various dating platforms or social media, a fetish outfit looks pretty good. In reality, however, it is even more impressive. Every one of us appearing in fetish is part of our community, shapes it and keeps it alive. We can often hear the point that there is nothing going on in the fetish scene and that there are no more than a few guys or even just oneself around in full gear. Exactly that is paradox. If every one of us think like that, fetish life will decrease more and will be limited to large events or just to the highly praised Berlin. Many leather and fetish bars in our local communities have to close or realign, become pure cruising bars for example. Our response: we complain about it. But did we visit regularly? Did we support our local community and were we involved in a way that it can continue to exist? Quite some time back, BLUF called on his members with their “12 x 12 pledge” to go out in full gear at least once a month and visit the bars and clubs. In my opinion a grand idea which is still valid. Think about it…