In our daily interaction with others, which unfortunately is currently neglected, socializing, good behavior and a dexterous appearance are fundamental. In our community, etiquette is quite helpful from time to time.
In the USA, the Old Guard movement emerged from the end of World War 2, which defines clear structures and understanding of roles within the leather scene. In their code of conduct, a strict definition of roles between dominant and submissive partners and formal interaction as well as emphasized male behavior is regulated. Values such as discipline, respect, brotherhood and honor are essential at Old Guard. A distinction is made between two different protocols: On the one hand, the Low Protocol, which is used in public. The D/s (Dominant/submissive) relationship is only acted out subliminally in order to maintain a certain level of discipline in everyday life, but without becoming conspicuous. This low protocol contains elements of service and responsibility that are always appropriate and practicable. The submissive partner demonstrates his obedience subliminally through his words and gestures. The High Protocol comes into effect at official leather events and is recognizable in language, posture and gestures. The task of the submissive partner according to High Protocol is to be of service to the dominant at all times.
This multi-level system is intended to regulate leadership and structure between at least two partners so that everyone involved knows what is expected of them. Old Guard lifestyle, which is surrounded by many myths, as well as the associated code of conduct were classified as too rigid and old-fashioned in the 1980s and 1990s, partly due to their seclusion. As a countermovement, the New Guard or New Leather developed, which tolerates much more open structures and accepts a broader spectrum of behavior and roles. Despite the criticism and the New Leather movement that is prevalent today, the values of the Old Guard are still decisive.
Defining rules of conduct in S/M and D/s relationships is up to the respective participants, for example addressing each other or posture and viewing direction. They are divided into two areas: The private rules relate to the environment behind closed doors, to the exclusion of the public. In contrast, there are agreements between Dominant and submissive partners for behavior in public spaces. These are primarily based on military rules of conduct between individual service ranks. Keywords such as authority, discipline, sincerity and toughness define the appearance of the top, while hard work, conscientiousness, obedience and subordination are associated with the sub. Examples of D/s behavior in public spaces are the willingness and ability of the sub to professionally cut and light the cigar for the top. At events with like-minded audiences, it is normal for the sub to take care of the boots of his top, if asked to lick them with full devotion. The Dominant, on the other hand, is characterized by protection of his subs, a sense of responsibility and empathy. Manners are always appropriate, whether Dominant or submissive.
The principle of BDSM to act consciously also applies to the general contact with our fellow human beings. In communication, it is important to think about who the person you are speaking to is and what choice of words is appropriate in the respective situation. Should you adapt to the behavior of the majority in uncertain situations or should you act as you have learned or been educated? Basic manners include being polite, honest, without prejudices, charming as well as self-confident and not being pushy or inconsiderate. Eye contact and interest in the other person are door openers for good cooperation. A loud person, whether speaking or laughing, is classified as either arrogant or insecure. During time and with increasing experience, I have learned to observe and to be silent unless someone is disrespectful and against good morals. Publicly evaluating the behavior of another person and making derogatory remarks is taboo for me. These rules may sound old-fashioned, but they are justified in every situation, whether it’s getting to know each other, having dinner with friends or cruising in the bar. Being real and authentic, knowing your own limits, your place and your role leads you inevitably to a self-confidence with which friendliness towards others becomes a matter of course.
I enjoyed reading this issue of Kinkinsight which should also be of interest to the current generation of Leathermen/fetishists to learn more about their predecessors.
As an emerging dominant in the late 70’s, I wanted to learn how to use a singletail Whip but in that pre-internet era, the only way to learn about bdsm techniques was to meet with Old Guard Leathermen which was not always easy to arrange.
I finally was able to make a connection by placing an ad in the personals of Drummer Magazine, a publication focused on our bdsm community. The Old Guard Leather Master who responded to my ad invited me to his farm 50 miles from Chicago to meet him. However, his requirement was I could not learn whipping skills as his equal but rather would need to be trained and serve as his slave during the process. This also meant I would not be able to use a Whip but would instead be whipped.
I trusted him as we were both in the teaching profession, so I agreed to this arrangement as I was thirsting for knowledge if only at the receiving end of the Whip. I learned a lot from him but as it turned out, he had abysmal whipping skills, did not respect limits and beat the hell out of me on numerous occasions.
However, from these bad experiences I learned much about how not to conduct a whipping session which has been useful to me in training whipping submissives and emerging Masters for several decades.
Thank you Bob for sharing your insights and personal experience, I appreciate your interaction brother!